What Is Post Traumatic Growth?

Post-traumatic growth is positive change experienced as a result of the struggle with a major life crisis or a traumatic event.

Creating a lifelong way of overcoming any obstacle you face is the Post-Traumatic Growth Mindset™.

The PTG Mindset is using what has happened, is happening or will happen that caused trauma in your life AND using the trauma to be the best version of yourself

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Resilience is the Worst

I know we hear a lot about learning to be resilient as trauma survivors but that is not the end all to be all.

Resilience means the capacity to recover quickly from difficulties; toughness.

By definition it explains it is temporary.

I am not saying if your have become resilient you can’t feel better about your truama, however I am saying all those techniques you learned to cope with only trauma can only get your so far. Resilience will hinder you from creating a Post-Traumatic Growth Mindset. A PTG mindset is using the trauma your survived to live the life of your dreams. What I teach is not based on techniques to COPE but process and allow the trauma to be there, show up unexpectedly AND still live the life of your dreams.

I don’t tell you to move past it or put it on the back burner or think about something positive. Those things are helpt but just that. They don’t bring you to full growth.

You know you are past the point of resilience when you have achieved the what your dreamed and your dreams are getting bigger.

If you know you are a person that needs help to navigate through your trauma schedule a confidential conversation with Coach Monaye.

Are You Too Old to be Called Mommy

Someone recently told ME I was too old to be called mommy…..

What the world???

Well they are wrong.

I refuse to think just because I have a teenager I cannot be called mommy

Of course, I am OK with mother and mom and mum but I like mommy

What name do your children call you?

When Bad Things Happen, How Should You Respond

It is with a heavy heart I write this Monday Mourning because I am mourning for others.
People I do not know.
People who are not in my city.
People I may have never crossed paths.
But people nonetheless.

When mass murder occurs I want to go hug all the families.
I want to find all the children who are without parents and cry with them.
I don’t want to think like a life coach I just want to sit with people and cry…if only for a moment.

That is what I do.

I find a support group and offer to take calls.
Just being a listening ear can help in so many ways.
Allowing the person to grieve however they need to express at that moment.
Allowing them to be completely vunerable and transparent with a stranger.

What do you do?
What would you do differently?

If you are someone that lost a family member to one of the recent mass murders do not hesitate to call me. I have a willing heart and a listening ear.
Coach Monaye
1+636-393-8833 PDT

Mom are you hiding???

Mom are you hiding????

I know you know what I am talking about.

Yes, you are doing all the things every day.
Taking care of the kids.
Talking care of the house.
Volunteer events.

But you are hiding whats going on in your mind and in your heart

You may to people on the phone but don’t really let out how you are really feeling.

You are concerned with the way they will judge you because you are feeling sad.

You are concerned with the way they will judge you because you are feeling stuck.

You are concerned with the way they will judge you because you are STILL grieving.

Listen, there is no reason to stay in that place all along,

I know because I was just there.

Too stuck to take action because of what not wanting people to know I am struggling.

I am grieving.

And I didn’t want to tell anyone because it seemed so trivial.

But that trivial thing had me stuck.

I was grieving the city I recently moved from.

Not the people in the city, but the familiarity of the city.

Knowing all the streets, where to find and purchase things, my favorite landmarks…

Who knew THAT would be the reason I would be stuck and hiding

Mommy why are you hiding?

How do we generate fears?

What fears have you dispelled simply by getting into action?

I remember my child being afraid to ride a bike without training wheels. 

For his birthday I purchased a bike without training wheels. 

He got on the bike……………

 ……………… fell twice 

……………….then got the hang of it. 

Action taken….


Oooooh weee.

At the beginning of my grief journey 15 years ago, I was lost yall.

I was so unsure about what to do.

I did not know what to say to my survivor.

He was only six years old.

I had not known anyone that had experienced homicide in their life.

I saw it on the tv all the time but this was close.

I retreated.

Lost confidence in myself as a mommy.

Decided I should say nothing to my survivor.

Mommy if this is you right now, I can help you.

I totally figured out what was wrong, first by identifying the lack of confidence as self-doubt.

I was doubting how and what I should say.

The way to become more confident is by choosing to believe what you are thinking in which your opinion of yourself and your opinion of your doubts are strong and motivating and determined.

I know that’s a lot.

Let me help you walk through this process.

Step 1: Start by thinking about something you want for your survivor.
Step 2: Write down what you are thinking
Step 3: Notice all of your self-doubt come up about what you what
Step 4: Click HERE to chit-chat with me and I will walk you through steps 4 & 5.

The cool thing is when we complete these steps you can use this tool for any area you lack confidence.

Looking forward to talking to you soon.


Not everyone wanted to go ..but they did. 

Some came back and others didn’t.

Their families remember.

Let’s remember………Together……….. Today

Arguing with a FOOL

Have you ever known the answer and someone decides they want to argue with them that you are incorrect?

I mean like really argue with you and you for sure know the truth.

I think about that every time it happens after the first rebuttal I remember, I am the one looking foolish arguing with the fool.


I really laugh at myself and walk away or exit the conversation.

Now imagine you arguing with your teen survivor about how they should handle the grieving process.

Imagine you telling him how it should look and he tells you everything is fine.

This back and forth only makes you look like the fool Mom.

Instead, you can change the narrative and the outcome.

What if you weren’t *over-concerned* and knew the right questions to ask instead?

Well… That is what I teach mommies in my 6 week Mommy Grief Training program.

If you want to get those answers the link → Mommy Grief Training to register for the next training.

Talk to you soon.