Are you absent?

For real, where are you?
I asked myself that question for a couple of days in a row.
In my head, I felt completely absent. I didn’t want to think of anything.
I wanted my mind to be on holiday/vacation.
I wanted to not think about duties.
I wanted to forget my tasks.
I wanted to think nothing.
And you know what.
I didn’t work. Instead, I thought about those things even more.
I thought about how I wasn’t getting things done.
I thought about how my absence was affecting others.
I thought about how I could be maximizing my time.
And then TODAY…….. I did it!
I got to it. I got to work. I started acting.
And I mean massive action.
Action instead of absence.
What I could have avoided if I chose to just act instead of choosing to be absent and still spend soo much thinking about what I wasn’t doing.
No Longer Absent

You Have an Obligation to Your Kids

My daughter told me I had to take care of her, that’s what parents do.

I replied, “Well your father is no longer taking care of you.”

She responded, “Momma that’s mean….. he’s dead.”

You may be thinking that was a harsh thing to say to her but it’s true.

Why does he get off the hook because he died earlier than we all expected
and now I am OBLIGATED to play the role of his and mine.

Yep, murder it was and I still think this way.

Why???

Because I’m human. I am a mother to a grieving kid who just wants me to GIVE her
all the things.

Because I’m human. I am a mother to a grieving kid who just wants me to DO
all the things.

After a moment of silence, I informed her of this statement I believe to be true in all of our lives:

“YOU HAVE AN OBLIGATION TO LIVE YOUR LIFE, FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE”

and that’s it!!!

Sticks and Stones and Words and Bones

Have you heard the old saying:

Stick and stones
May break my bones
But WORDS
Will never HURT me

Yeah I heard it growing up all my life and guess what???

I DIDNT BELIEVE IT ONE BIT!!!

Of course not.

All my life, I grew up hearing that statement but then I would hear a kid getting scolded
by an adult to apologize for hurting someone’s feelings.

Well, which is it?  Do words hurt or not?

I know the answer and words for sure will never hurt me.

What are we teaching our kids?

Especially our children that have experienced trauma.

Are we telling them to not listen to comforting words of others?

Are we telling them to not speak about the hurt and pain they feel from their grief?

Are we using works so lightly as parents because we don’t want to ‘upset’ our grieving kids?

Really take a look at how you may be tiptoe’ing in your speech because you believe words HURT.

Perhaps you don’t believe words do not hurt…. or

Only in light-hearted situation; not topics like rape and murder.

Well, you’re wrong, interested in chatting about it click here so we can talk.

Yes, I’m a Black Woman

In celebration of being a Black Woman in America, I wanted to highlight some Black History this month.

I for sure love my blackness and all the unique things that make me who I am including the coils in my hair.

I get to enjoy many cultural events and delicious food.

Today I want to highlight someone whose oration skills have been known to be the best in the world especially because he was illiterate and could not read.

Harry Hosier – Preacher, Orator, Encourager

Harry was known for giving moving sermons for blacks after the white preacher finished his sermon.

His skills were so impeccable that the white people would stay and listen as well.

Another black preacher asked Harry if he could teach him to read; Harry’s response was he lost the gift to preach when he attempted to learn how to read.

For more about Harry Hosier check out his bio HERE

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What I got from learning about Harry is he had a gift and he knew his purpose on Earth.

He went after it and did not allow it to be stripped by being distracted from ‘learning’ to read.

He recognized his talent and skill and chose to walk in it.

Have you identified your gifts, talents, skills?

Are you distracted by ‘learning’ and not doing?

Be like Harry, dispel the distractions and get to your Purpose!

Tax Refund or Bonus

TAX REFUND OR BONUS?

Spring always makes me think of cleaning and money.

No really, either you are preparing to complete your tax return for a refund or extending your return because you owe.

Or the other spectrum. A lot of employers pay out annual compensation increases and bonuses around this tie of the year.

I mean; MONEY EVERYWHERE

Like the famous rapper, Cardi B said

But nothing in this world that I like more than checks (Money)
All I really wanna see is the (Money)
I don’t really need the D, I need the (Money)

What happens when the money doesn’t come?

What happens when you lose the person that was the breadwinner?

What happens when you need to learn how to come up with a different plan?

What is the backup plan? It’s all good questions.

Some of my clients have told me one of the more challenging things that caused pain after the death of their spouse was the new financial circumstance.

Time is now to have a plan of action.

4 Reasons Why You Should Laugh

4 Reasons Why You Should Laugh

Ohhh and I’m not just talking about any ol’ laughter, I am specifically talking about
laughing at yourself.

I am a person that tends to make some minor mistakes when walking.

I have been known to trip and fall up stairs.

Fall over the air underneath my feet.

And I bust up in laughter. I always knew laughter was good but laughing at myself, woah now!!

1. IT’S GOOD FOR YOUR HEART – LITERALLY

Cardiologists at the University of Maryland Medical Center in Baltimore completed a study in 2009 that revealed laughing and with an “active sense of humor” can literally protect against a heart attack. It was also reported to help prevent heart disease.

2. IT MEANS YOU CAN HANDLE LIFE BETTER

Dr. Willibald Ruch, Swiss humor expert from the University of Zurich, says a cheerful person seems to be more resilient against negative events and is more able to face adversities in life with a smile.

3. YOU CAN MANAGE PAIN BETTER

Laughter builds resilience as well.  The Scientific American attributes endorphins released during laughter to pain relief.

4. IT BOOSTS YOUR SHORT-TERM MEMORY

Researchers from Loma Linda University conducted a study examining stress levels and short term memory of adults in their 60s and 70s where one group sat in silence and the other watched funny videos. Well, the humor group showed much higher improvement in their abiity to remember things, 43.6 percent, compared with 20.3 percent in the other group.

Sooo mommies what does that mean for you????
LAUGH YO FACE OFF

Homicide and Mental Health

Simply said above!!!

How are you today????

Mommies it is extremely important that we take some time and check in with each other.

If not for ourselves first, perhaps do it for the kids.

I’m rocking the 💜  above *meh life could be better*

Check-in below, how are you today????

If you are rocking the 🖤
text me @ 636-393-8833
email me @ hello@coachmonaye.com

Make a Decision Already!!!

Have you been riddled with questions?

Have you ever been stuck in a loop of confusion and indecision?

Did you know our brain requests answers by the hour?

Constantly demanding us to make decisions.

How do you respond to the constant questions about EVERYTHING???

  • Should I press the snooze button
  • What am I going to wear
  • Are the kids up yet
  • Did I pack their lunch
  • I wonder how they are doing in school
  • Are they happy
  • Should I pull my hair back or curl it today
  • How do I look
  • Am I really thirsty
  • Are the kids still thinking about their dad
  • I wonder if the family is going to call me
  • Should I complete this project today
  • I wonder if my cuticles are ok
  • When do I get to go on vacation
  • When is the weather going to let up
  • What is my mom doing
  • What are we going to eat for dinner
  • Did the kids brush their teeth before they went to bed
  • How did I get this neck pain
  • I wonder if I can make my own moisturizer
  • Is there anything good on Netflix
  •    and the questions go on and on and on and on….
But how do you respond?  Most people would say ‘I don’t know’
**Well, what if you DID know the answers???**
What if you asked your brain to come up with the answers to all of those questions?
That’s exactly what I have been doing lately. It is amazing how much stuff I really know when I try go to my brain for the answer.  Amazing eye-opening exercise that has LEVEL’ed UP my life.
Try it. Let me know what your brain comes up with.

Mothers are you stretched thin??

I was driving to work one morning and I saw a crew of construction workers stretching before starting their day.

Mom, are you stretched thin?

What organizations are you a member?

How many activities are your kids involved?

Are asking yourself are you stretched enough?

Let’s talk about the first.

Stop IT now. Choose 2 things and go all in.

How are you going all in on your activities? Are you only giving a little bit here and there?

Have you ever just said, let me complete this one thing and did it.

I mean literally have the metrics to show that you gave it your all?

That is the result of NOT being stretched thin especially as a mom.

Look at your schedule and see how you can thin it out  What are you removing to thin out your responsibilities?

National Handwriting Day

I love leaving my princess a little note every now and then.
 
I like to remind her of her awesomeness.
 
I like to remind her that she is ahmazing.
 
She gets a little boost in her day when she finds it in.
 
She keeps many of them to read again when classmates attempt to make her sad.
They give her a little boost when autoimmune side effects appear in unlikely circumstances.
 
She knows she is loved.
 
She knows: I HAVE HER BACK
 

When was the last time you wrote a little note to your kid? 

 
 
HISTORY
National Handwriting Day was established by the Writing Instrument Manufacturers Association in 1977.  Their motive is to promote the consumption of pens, pencils and writing paper.  January 23rd was chosen as this is the birthday of John Hancock.  John Hancock was the first person to sign the Declaration of Independence.