*A trusting father gave his young son a tomato plants. He told him, I am giving these to you to grow. I am going to show you verthing you need to know ONCE!

Everyday this summer you’ll take care of these plants.

And for every one that dies, I’m goig to punish you.

Wow. That sounds soo harsh, Right!

The father continues: But for everyone that give you but juicy tomators, I’m gonna kiss you!

The father explains to the son: Sometimes you’re gog to doeverything right, exactly the way I say and it’s still gonna die.

And I’m still gonna punish you.*

As a mom of kids with trauma, I often wonder should be ‘soft’ on my children.

Am I really helping them when I know the choice they made was not properly thought through or an act of rebellion against someone or something (rules)?

They have already experienced trauma so do I ignore the act or do I respond as I would have they not have experienced the trauma??

And what about the times they make the correct decisions and follow through exactly as they should and something does not turn out the way it should have?

The father in the Netflix series Bad Blood was attempting to teach his child the way of the world.

Sometimes things will not respond the way you thought they would have however you still have to take responsibility for the end results.

Mommies do we teach our children this?

Do we ‘sweeten the deal’ and say everything is OK?

I raise my hand and say I have done both.   Let’s talk about the results from both.

*”Home is Where the Gun Is.” Bad Blood. Netflix. Simon Barry. 2017. Performed by Paul Sorvino.